PRODUCT REVIEW - Beach Body *Performance* Line

Do y'all know what time it is? Time for another product review!  This one isn't on the #NoBullWithMelissa channel but it's just as good, I promise.  Less video, more reading.  It's all good, heifers!

I was recently sent a UUUUGGGGEEEE box of this most amazing product.  I'm not a multi-level marketing kind of heifer.  I'm gonna be honest here.  Someone runs at me with Shakeology, LululLemonator Pants, Lipstick-For-Dayz, etc... and I run screaming in the opposite direction. I figure, if your product was THAT good, it'd be widely available and every store would be begging to carry it.  

I mean, just being honest here. 

BeachBody Performance was no different. Sure, I have friends who "do" it - they look great, most of them. I'll give them that. But whatevs. I work out. I look moderately "OK" for a middle-aged soccer mom of 4, right? (Please say yes, I have a fragile psyche).

So, anyway - when I received THIS package in the mail, I was curious to try all this stuff to see what all the rage is about.  I wasn't expecting much, to be fair. I figured, like I said above - if it was THAT good, this stuff would be selling off the shelves of GNC faster than Walmart Bread just before a blizzard.

goodies. goodies everywhere!  Even the cup is cool.  I like the cup a lot.  I'm easy to please.

goodies. goodies everywhere!  Even the cup is cool.  I like the cup a lot.  I'm easy to please.

One of my mini-heifer kids plays sports, and he was super excited to spy this huge container of Chocolate Recover mix, too.  I had to smack his hands as he tried to read the label.  BACK OFF, STINKY TEENAGER.  THIS IS MINE!!!!

NO, REALLY. BACK OFF.  This stuff is all MINE!

NO, REALLY. BACK OFF.  This stuff is all MINE!

Y'all know I work out daily at o'dark thirty, right? If not, this must be your first time reading here, and welcome to the HeiferHood!  The rest of you already know that.  

So - the product that intrigued me the most was this Energize powder.  I mean, I'm always sleeeeeepy at 0400 when I get up, so this promised me bright eyes and happy workouts, even before sunrise.  I was super excited when I opened the container, and the powder was NEON FREAKIN' YELLOW.  I know you think I'm exaggerating. But see below.  The powder wakes you up before you even mix and drink it.  What the whaaaaaa?

This is a legit photo of the powder, taken in indirect sunlight. It is neon. It, does not, however, glow in the dark. I might have tried.  And FYI... I know you're wondering -no, your urine is NOT neon yellow after drinking this. If it is, SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY.  Really.

This is a legit photo of the powder, taken in indirect sunlight. It is neon. It, does not, however, glow in the dark. I might have tried.  And FYI... I know you're wondering -no, your urine is NOT neon yellow after drinking this. If it is, SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY.  Really.

The directions indicate to add one scoop to 8oz water (I recommend ice cold water for this) and so I figured, my bottle was 16oz, so I added two scoops. Because I'm a rational heifer, yannoo. 

Two scoops, and WHAM! Shook that bad-boy right up, and look what resulted. A glow-in-the-dark neon yellow drink that falls directly from heaven.  I slammed a little back before boxing, and saved the rest for during my workout.

This. Stuff. Is. Liquid. Gold.

Not only does it taste really light, but it has ZERO aftertaste.  Zeroooooooo. It leaves you with a sense that you just did something really awesome for your body.  Not the same kind of awesome as when you eat a whole box of Thin Mints and wait to get thin - this is LEGIT awesome.  So awesome, in fact, that I had a little photo shoot with it, because I was THAT pumped to have a product that delivered on its legendary reputation.

It's really good.  Get some. 

It's really good.  Get some. 

Nutritionals on Energize

Nutritionals on Energize

This stuff is just awesome.  Have I mentioned that?  

I was super-excited to dive right into the next one, the Vanilla Recharge powder.  Because, if this lemon energize was that great, the vanilla could only be better, right? 

RIGHT!  I decided after smelling the powder (am I the only one who smells stuff before eating it? Please say no? Someone comment below and tell me I'm not alone?)... that it might need some help, so I added some frozen blueberries and blackberries.  

Well, as my grandma used to say, "Dip me and call me stinky!" - this Recharge shake was DEEEEElicious.  I wasn't expecting it to be great, because the powder kind of smells a little like a cardboard box that was in your garage a month too long.  DECEPTIVE! The drink tastes really great.  Two heifer-thumbs way up on this one too!

Don't let the smell fool ya.  It's is very creamy and goes down smooth.

Don't let the smell fool ya.  It's is very creamy and goes down smooth.

It's delicious.  Creamy and goes down smooth. It's a winner in my book.

We tried the chocolate Recovery drink, too - another hit.  Really tasty and when you blind in some ice and frozen banana, well, OMG!  It just gets better.  The chocolate powder smells delicious!  I actually added it to some pancakes (because, I'm all about healthy eating)... and it was a nice way to enhance the flavor without doing nutritional sabotage to my body.  The possibilities on these are almost as endless as a Billy Ocean Greatest HIts album.

The Hydrate powder is amazing, too. It says "Citrus" but it tastes pretty similar to the lemon (which IS citrus, so I can't fault them for bein' honest).  I mixed this one with some crushed ice and a small orange, half a frozen banana, and just under half of a scoop of the Vanilla recharge powder.  DELICIOUS.  Perfectly refreshing for the hot days that are about to descend on us here in Phoenix.

As I said in the beginning of this review - I really am not one for multi-level marketing and products associated with it, but this is one product line I can highly endorse.  I'm pretty happy with all of the products, and I'd even go SO FAR as to say, I'd purchase them, full price, from an affiliate, when mine run out.  I don't think I can live without the Energize.  For Real!

"Disclaimer: I received these BeachBody Performance products to review as part of being a BibRave Pro. Learn more about becoming a BibRave Pro (ambassador), and check out BibRave.com to review find and write race reviews!"

"Disclaimer: I received these BeachBody Performance products to review as part of being a BibRave Pro. Learn more about becoming a BibRave Pro (ambassador), and check out BibRave.com to review find and write race reviews!"

My concoction is delicious. i'm making it again tonight. I love it more than I love gerber daisies, which is a lot. 

My concoction is delicious. i'm making it again tonight. I love it more than I love gerber daisies, which is a lot. 

Here's a pic I found online, so you can see all the products in a much nicer photo. :-)

You can find BeachBody Performance online by searching the following names:

Insta: @BeachbodyPerformance

Twitter: @BB_Performance

FB: @BeachbodyPerformance

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