Diary of a Heifer...First Swim... #iKahn....

Oh hey again heifers.... 

I'm in the first full week of Triathlon Training (I'm trying to make sure I say no bad words when I call it this, because after yesterday, I have a few new bad words that I want to use...)

In short, below is a little clip of the fun I had yesterday...it was my first swim in the training plan.  It took courage to even GO to the pool. 

Let's lay it out for you step by step.  I wake up.  Ok that went well.  Happy every day that I wake up alive. (Because who wants to wake up dead?)

Take kids to school.  No problem there. Always happy to drop them off.  Oh come on! Every mom is nodding in agreement.

preach.jpg

Come home READY for the swim, mentally.  Go look inside my triathlon bucket where I kept all of "those things" hidden away up until yesterday. I KNEW my Speedo (ps why are speedo suits SO not sexy??) bathing suit would be in there with my tri kit, cycling shoes, body glide, etc.. Nope.  Bathing suit completely gone.  Contemplated taking that as a sign from the Moooniverse (haha see how I did that?! )) but too afraid to lie to my coach.   She's little but she's damn strong. She could take me out in one punch!

Search in vain for a few minutes, then declare "SCREW IT!" and put on a 2-piece bathing suit thinking nobody would be at the pool anyway.  Throw on a cover-up and head out the door. No problem. I GOT THIS.

Go to pool.  Had to sign up at a large "Box" gym because my gym doesn't have a pool. No big deal.  Walk in with SWAGGER, I'm telling you, swagggger.  The swagger of a heifer in charge. The BOSS heifer.  This heifer knows what's UP.

Look in the pool.  There are 59 of the world's finest Aqua Fitters in the world, right there, all Aqua Fitting right in front of me.  I have nothing against Aqua Fit. In fact, I think it's a great workout. 

But all I could think about.... (YOU KNOW YOU WOULD TOO!)  is that they are all probably peeing in the pool.  In my house we have a sign by the pool.  It says, "Welcome to the OOL. Notice there is no P in it.  Let's keep it that way!"  I mean, maybe it's just me. Maybe I am the only one who would have thought that...but whatever.  I don't feel guilty. I don't wanna swim in the urine of 59 of  the world's Finest Aqua Fitters this city knows. I just don't.

The class had just started.  I was lucky enough to go back into my car and have a call with a dear friend.  It's always comforting when other people believe in you and tell you as much.  Sometimes that little extra confidence is just what you need and sometimes it fills your heart up.  That helped pump me up.  I was READY

The hour passed quickly... I took a big gulp and got out of the car (I mean sometimes that's the hardest step, right?) and sauntered, heifer-style into the gym.  I sauntered so hard I may have hurt my hip.

I walk into the pool area, strip down to my 2pc like a boss, ditch the shoes, bust out the workout from my coach thinking "how hard could this possibly be?"

swimming is dumb

swimming is dumb

Yeah. Don't be fooled.  That workout was rough ... for someone like me - someone that doesn't identify as "an athlete" someone who is more comfortable on the couch with Oprah reruns and Halo Top  (ok who are we kidding, with french fries dipped in a vanilla milkshake... if we are going full disclosure here, I'm just gonna lay it all out...)... anyway, the workout was hard.  HARD.  

I got through it. And again, since I'm in full disclosure mode, I will add that I had to stop multiple times on each lap because I couldn't catch my breath, and I felt a VISCERAL heifer need to scream the F word (not foam-roller, either) at the top of my lungs. The pool area has a beautiful echo which aided in my frustration release.  Hearing the F word echoed so loudly made me feel better. So I did it a few times.  Thankfully the Aqua Fitters had gone back home by this point....  

Here's a video I recorded just at the end of my swim set.  Maybe you can relate to it.  Follow me on twitter if you're over there at MELISSAKAHN7  for more updates and whining.  

I sat down to write this blog post as a way to procrastinate because up next, today, is a "get to know your mountain bike" training day. 

I've got my AfterShokz headphones charging. Thankful for them, as the music will help keep me MOOOOTIVATED (ha! I did it again!)  while I make a fool of myself now in the 2nd sport, biking.  I mean, what could POSSIBLY go wrong? 

(You might want to stay tuned).

If you ARE on twitter, I'd love for you to follow my journey, and in your own posts where YOU need encouragement and inspiration, use the #iKahn hashtag. Let the world know we are one #heiferNation and that we are #heiferSTRONG.

Feel free to leave your comments below, you can laugh at me, with me, encourage me, point at me and whisper to your friends, whatever makes you happy.

#iKahn

RACE & GEAR DISCOUNT CODES!

Heifers! Below are some Race and Discount codes for you - click the scroll bar to find your discount codes!

 

January

 

1/20/2018 - F^3 Lake Half Marathon - Chicago, IL

http://www.f3running.com/
Use code “bibrave13” to save $6 off the half and “bibrave5” to save $5 off 5K!

 

1/28/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Houston - Houston, TX

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/houston
Use code “BibRaveHCHouston18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

1/28/2018 - Miami Marathon - Miami Beach, FL

http://www.themiamimarathon.com/
Use code “BIBHOLIDAY” to save $10 on race entry!

February

2/3/2018 - Sedona Marathon - Sedona, AZ

http://www.sedonamarathon.com/

Use code “18BibRave" saves 20% on race entry!

 

2/3/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Dallas - Dallas, TX

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/dallas
Use code “BRHCDAL18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

2/4/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Atlanta - Atlanta, GA

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/atlanta
Use code “BRHCATL18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

2/10/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Charlotte - Charlotte, NC

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/charlotte
Use code “BibRaveHCChar18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

2/11/2018 - Palm Desert Half Marathon - Palm Desert, CA

http://www.palmdeserthalfmarathon.com/
Use code “BRPD18” to save 10% on race entry!

 

2/17/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Nashville - Nashville, TN

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/nashville
Use code “BRHCNASH18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

2/18/2018 - A1A Fort Lauderdale Marathon and Half Marathon - Fort Lauderdale, FL

http://a1amarathon.com/
Use code “BIBRAVE” to save 15% on the Marathon, Half Marathon and 5K.  

 

March

3/4/2018 - 13.1 Miami Beach - Miami Beach, FL

http://www.run131series.com/miamibeach/
Use code “BIBRAVEMB18” to save $5 on the half marathon!

 

3/4/2018 - Rock ‘n’ Roll New Orleans - New Orleans, LA

http://www.runrocknroll.com/new-orleans

Use code “BIBRAVE15” to save $15 off Half and Full, valid until 1/29.

 

3/4/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Seattle - Seattle, WA

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/seattle
Use code “BRHCSEA18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

3/4/2018 - The Alamo 13.1 & Alamo 26.2 Marathon - San Antonio, TX

http://alamo131.com/
Use code “BIBRAVE18” to save 18% on your race entry!

 

3/18/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K San Diego - San Diego, CA

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/sandiego
Use code “BRHCSD18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

3/18/2018 - Tobacco Road Marathon and Half Marathon - Cary, NC

http://www.tobaccoroadmarathon.com
Use code “bibrave1” to save $20 on race registration!

 

3/18/2018 - First Watch Sarasota Half Marathon - Sarasota, FL

http://www.sarasotahalfmarathon.com/
Use code “SARASOTABIB18” to save $10 on half or relay registration!

 

3/24/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Indianapolis - Indianapolis, IN

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/indianapolis
Use code “BibRaveHCIndy18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

April

4/7/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Philadelphia - Philadelphia, PA

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/philadelphia
Use code “BRHCPHILLY18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

4/8/2018 - Hapalua - Hawaii’s Half Marathon - Waikiki Beach, HI

http://thehapalua.com/
Use code “BIBRAVEHAPALUA” to save 10% on race entry.

 

4/8/2018 - Statesman Cap10K - Austin, TX

http://www.cap10k.com/
Use code “BibRaveRunsCap10K” to save $5 on race entry.

 

4/14/2018 - Hot Chocolate 15K/5K Minneapolis - Minneapolis, MN

https://www.hotchocolate15k.com/minneapolis
Use code “BRHCMINN18” to score a BONUS Hot Chocolate branded cap!

 

4/26-28/2018 - Illinois Marathon - Champaign-Urbana, IL

http://illinoismarathon.com/
Use code “2018bibravebonus” to save $5 on race entry!

 

4/28-29/2018 - New Jersey Marathon - Oceanport, NJ

https://www.thenewjerseymarathon.com/
Use code “NJMBibrave18” to save $5 on all race distances!

 

4/29/2018 - RUN CRANDIC - Cedar Rapids/Iowa City, IA

http://runcrandic.com/
Use code “BibRave18” to save 10% on race entry!

 

May

5/5/2018 - OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini-Marathon - Indianapolis, IN

https://www.500festival.com/running/mini-marathon/
Use code “BRP2018” to save $5 on race entry!

 

5/19/2018 - Harper’s Ferry Half Marathon - Harper’s Ferry, WV

http://www.harpersferryhalf.org/
Use code “BIBRAVE5” to save $5 on race entry!

 

5/27/2018 - Vermont City Marathon - Burlington, VT

https://www.vermontcitymarathon.org/
Use code “BibRave10” to save $10 on race entry!

 

June

6/1-3/2018 - Hospital Hill Run - Kansas City, MO

http://www.hospitalhillrun.com/
Use code “BIBHHR18” to save 15% on any event distance!

 

6/3/2018 - North Olympic Discovery Marathon - Port Angeles, WA

http://nodm.com/
Use code “BibRave527” to save 5% on race entry!

July

7/13-15/2018 - Missoula Marathon - Missoula, MT

http://www.missoulamarathon.org/
Use code “BibRave18” to save $5 on race entry!

October

10/18-21/2018 - Detroit Free Press/Chemical Bank Marathon - Detroit, MI

http://freepmarathon.com/
Use code “2018DETROCKS ” to save 10% on race entry!

 

Brand Discount Codes

 

AfterShokz - Receive a BONUS portable storage case using "FREECASE" at http://bibrave.aftershokz.com/.

Brilliant Reflective - Use code "BRPmulti" for 20% off multipacks at bit.ly/BRforRunners.

Fun Run Box - Use code “BIBRAVE” for 15% off any subscription or single Oktoberfest box at https://funrunbox.com/bibrave.     

Skins - Use code “BIBRAVE20” for 20% at https://www.skins.net/usa. Only valid on full price items, expires 10/31/17.

Use code RHR20 for 20% off at Greecie Girl - headbands that are a cut above the rest!

Use code MOO for 10% off of your 5KCrate subscription box!

RUNHEALTHY (Canada) - use code RHR15 for 15% off of your order

Use Code "theherd" for 15% off your ENELL sprots bra order (highly recommend these for well-endowed heifers!)  Code good thru 15 October 2017

Use code HEIFER for 15% off of WEGRYND fitness apparel.  LOVE this stuff!

Click HERE to receive 20% off of AFTERSHOKZ bone conducting headphones

Code RHR10 gets you 10% off of QUEEN BEAN COFFEE! (Best Coffee EVER!)

SMARTASS & SASS Delivery Box use link: http://smartassandsass.refr.cc/melissak for $5 off of your own delivery subscription

AfterShokz - Receive a bonus trucker hat with your AfterShokz Trekz Air purchase with code “TRUCKER” at http://bibrave.aftershokz.com/.

Luvo - Use code "BIBCHAT" for 10% off your purchase at http://luvoinc.com/.

Knuckle Lights - Use code “BIBRAVEPRO” to save 15% on your purchase at https://knucklelights.com/.

 

But... I'm not a "Real" Runner....

Are You a Runner?

I was having dinner with a friend the other night, wolfing down Café Rio taco salad with extra tomatoes while she told me about her existential crisis (her words, not mine). So, here it is:  she writes stories but hasn’t been published yet, so she argues she’s not a writer.

It’s easy for me to see the Swiss-cheese holes in that theory. I asked her, “Do you write?” She said, “Yes, every day.” I said, “Then, you’re a writer.” DUH.

It seemed so simple to me.  But for her, it was a tough sell.  She had a ton of requirements for being a ‘legit’ writer.  She had to be published.  The publication had to be ‘traditional’ instead of self-published.  She needed to get some good reviews, preferably from a famous magazine or newspaper or something.  She might have visions of being interviewed on NPR.

To me, she’s a writer because she writes. Period. Simple. End of story.

But then I started thinking of running and how I felt like a total imposter when I first started running. I had the same bogus beliefs about finish-lines to cross before I could say, in more than a whisper, “I’m a runner.”

In fact, I still sometimes struggle with feeling WORTHY of the royal title of runner.  It’s a title, right? You have to be able to say it with a straight face, with some swagger.  I don’t always feel like I have swagger.  Sometimes I feel like a total fraud.  A swagger-less fraud.

Sometimes (ok all the times), when I’m out for a run, I walk and then run and then walk again. I do this when I run half-marathons and 10ks and when I cruise through my neighborhood. I have closed down races and gotten in so late the cones were picked up and we had to straight-up navigate our way to the finish line.  I limp to finish lines, 34th out of 35, and I’m pretty sure I’ve rolled in dead last.  

I wear the race numbers, cross the finish lines and eat the free bananas, if there are any left, but I still don’t always feel like a runner.  

And you know what? That’s as wrong as my friend who writes every day and doesn’t feel like a writer.  She writes. She reads about writing. She gets better and sometimes sucks and then gets better again. She is a writer because she writes.

And I’m a runner because I run. And so are you. The details, those things I need to say out loud to make it legit, those don’t make me a runner.  What makes me a runner is that I run.  I get out there, before the sun rises, and I run. I go to races, and I run.  

I ran when I was fat, and I run now that I’m fitter.  I run when I’m tired and would rather be sitting with a bag of chip, surfing the web.  

I run when I’m busy and have work to do and could totally justify skipping my run for a day….which we all know so often turns into two days…and three….and then a week.

The fact is, there is no official finish line to becoming a runner.  Some people run a 5k or a 10k or a half-marathon or a full-marathon or an ultra-marathon. Some people run in tights, and some people run in baggy sweats that have seen better days.

Some people wear gear.  Some people go minimalist, forgetting fancy shoes or sweat-wicking performance pants.  Runners come in all shapes and sizes, and just like you,  don’t have to be stick-thin to be a yogi, you don’t have to be in ultra-marathon shape to be a runner.

What we have to do to feel like runners or athletes or writers or musicians or whatever else it is we want to be, is really just a combination of two things.

  1. We have to believe it. 

  2. We have to do it.

In the words of C.S. Lewis:  We are what we believe we are. That’s it.  If it seems simple, it is.

Are you a runner?  Well, do you run?

If you do, the answer is yes.  It’s yes even if you sometimes walk.  It’s yes if you finish last or even if you don’t finish every time. It’s yes no matter your pace, your schedule, your conditioning or your outfit.  If you run, you’re a runner.

Celebrate every run, not just the runs that include monitors, set courses and finish lines. Celebrate getting out there, sticking with it and coming back to running after inevitable breaks.

Being a runner has only one rule, folks: run.  And if you’re out there doing it, you’re killing it.  

So lace up your shoes, put on whatever gear you want, get out there….and run.

 

justrun.jpg